I Didn’t Give Up
In the early 2000s, Myspace was becoming huge. Facebook was in early development phases at Harvard. People were more hesitant about sharing their lives on the internet and most people weren’t using it to find a date.
When I was single in that same timeframe most of the dating I did started online.
Online dating made asking someone out and then the subsequent rejection a little more bearable, the two things that scared me about dating. I’m pretty shy in person, it can take a long time for me to warm up to people. If I saw someone in class or church that I wanted to talk to it wouldn’t happen unless they started the conversation. There were only a few times that I ever got up the courage to ask someone on a date face to face.
Online dating was different. Sometimes there were weeks of sending messages back and forth before a phone number was exchanged. A few more weeks of talking on the phone would follow and eventually the first date in person would happen. By the time I met someone for the first time the awkward getting to you know you moments were already out of the way.
I had had a few relationships of varying lengths before I was on a website called LDS LinkUp. It was on LDS LinkUp that I came across Tavia‘s profile. After looking at her profile and her pictures I sent her one of the lamest prewritten messages, called a QuickNote, that LDS LinkUp had available.
“You’re gorgeous.” Or something close to that.
Surprisingly enough she responded fairly quickly.
A short time after “You’re gorgeous” we were talking on the phone.
About 24 hours after that phone call we were on our first date.
The online dating timeline was going a little fast even for what I was a used to. And it was going blazingly fast for Tavia. In fact, I was the only guy she ever went on a date with that she met online.
What followed as something like 10 dates in 14 days.
That was it. I had found her. I wanted to marry her.
Well, it was a little longer than 14 days for me but not much. Which is funny because I had had two longer relationships before Tavia. Both of the ladies had expressed an interest in getting married pretty early into the relationship. Each time I thought there is no way they could know that quickly. No way, that’s crazy.
Tavia had been married before and wasn’t quite ready to jump into marriage following a few short weeks of dating. I don’t blame her. It was quick.
So I waited.
We had been dating for a few months when we broke up.
I was devastated. I wanted to marry her after all.
Even though we had broken up we were still seeing each other all the time. It was a few more weeks until we decided we needed to have a few weeks of no communication. We actually need to BREAK up. Those two weeks sucked.
For both of us.
After those two weeks we were back together but not exclusive.
I waited.
I took my first trip up to North Idaho for Thanksgiving and slept in her parent’s basement.
And waited.
It was February before we finally got engaged.
I could have given up and found someone else.
Even after all the waiting I still wanted to marry her.
I think it has turned out pretty good. We have four beautiful children. We have gotten multiple degrees. Taken some great trips and made lots of memories.
All of it because of a lame QuickNote.
I’m glad I didn’t give up.