SethMathers.com

I have always been a very reserved person. Growing up I only had a few close friends. I never really liked big groups, preferred smaller one on one settings. Speaking in front of people terrified me. It still does. It takes a long time for me to warm up to people especially if I have never met them before. I’m a wallflower. I like being a wallflower.

While I was serving a mission for my church in England my fear of public speaking or talking to people I didn’t know didn’t go away. While I met some truly amazing people I’ll never forget it was still a challenge every day for two years. It was painful. That still didn’t make what I was sharing with them any less important.

After my mission, I did a lot of Internet dating. Internet dating isn’t as taboo now as it was in 2008 or before. Most of the dating I did while I was single all happened online. It was just less confrontational for me. It was my jam or avocado toast for some of you. Low key. I loved it.

As you could imagine from my fondness for Internet dating, Tavia and I met online. The website was called LDS LinkUp. LDS LinkUp was a social network designed for people who happen to have ties with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

I sent her some cheesy prewritten note and within 24 hours we were on our first date. I think I came out the winner.

Since then there have been a couple conversations between Tavia and myself about how we met. One time she asked what I would have done if we had not met online. What if we happened to be in a math class together? I told her more than likely I would have never talked to her unless she started the conversation. I would have never asked her out. Regardless of how cool I thought she was. I would have been paralyzed to take any action.

Good thing for internet dating!

Early in my real estate career, I found myself being uncomfortably forced out of my comfort zone. Knocking on doors, cold calling, calling family and friends for referrals, doing pop-bys. I would even tell myself it was easier to talk to strangers than people I knew. That was a lie. It was all difficult. I hated it. Not real estate, I enjoyed that. I just hated doing the activities that went against the core of my character. It’s comfortable being a wallflower.

As you could imagine as a real estate agent people bring up real estate in conversation. I know how a lot of people see real estate agents and I know what kind of conversation killer it can be when they find out you are one. People think you are always trying to close them. Get that referral. Looking for that next deal. But that’s not me.

What is me? What brings out that person that I keep hidden inside and won’t shut up? Beards, big hairy audacious goals, becoming a media company, entrepreneurship, grilled cheese sandwiches, making notebooks, painting like Bob Ross, figuring out how to make what you love to do your profession, finding out what talents, skills, side hustles you’re hiding. You. I love to find out about you. What makes you, you. Because you are pretty cool.